Mustaches for Ulcers (a health update)
I’ve been sick. No bones about it. Finally, after long last, the doctors have figured out what’s wrong. Ulcers in my stomach! Now that we know what the problem is, I’m doing all I can to get better and back to brewing. A large part of this effort has been spent investing in my new charity, Mustaches for Ulcers. Ulcers are serious business, and nothing is more serious than a mustache. Just ask Burt Reynolds. Presenting my new and improved lower face, now a furry charity machine:
I will soon be contacting the American Mustache Institute on behalf of Monday Night Brewery to pitch Mustaches for Ulcers. I will also be contacting Tel Aviv University, which in 1992 revealed a startling correlation between mustachoi’d men and peptic ulcers. Coincidence? No, it’s science.
I challenge anyone who is able to grow their own mustache in support of this worthy cause. Please contact me via email or the comments to learn how to participate. With the help of our collective upper lips, we may just be able to eradicate ulcers (and specifically stomach ulcers) once and for all.
Jonathan, Joel & Jeff
July 18th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
McSweeney’s and 826 Chi do a moustache thing like that every year, where they make it sort of like a walk-a-thon where people pledge money. You start out with a clean shaven face, and start growing. It is amusing, and apparently raises a lot of money.
In short, I think it’s a great idea.
July 18th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Reminds me of another friend of mine’s fictitious charity, a croquet tournament called Wicketts for Ricketts, for a long-ago eradicated disease. Did you ever wonder why the Amish wear those mustache-less beards? Because the moustache is an ancient international symbol of a military man, and the Amish are pacifists.
July 18th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Kevin and Walter, I take this to mean that you’re joining the cause? Grow those mustaches out and we will beat these ulcers once and for all!
July 19th, 2008 at 5:52 am
http://mustachesofthenineteenthcentury.blogspot.com/
July 19th, 2008 at 6:29 am
We like breweries. We like mustaches. Contact away.
July 20th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Jonathan,
When I’m clean-shaven, I look like a fine upstanding member of society. When I try to grow any facial hair whatsoever, I look like I should be on the TV show Cops. So I’m going to avoid this event!
July 21st, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Brad, I understand your concern. However, I hope this will not prevent you from contacting your other mustache-growing friends and family (male or female) to rally support for his fine cause. You too can make a difference.
July 21st, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I think I’m probably going to have to sit this one out also. My wife is not a fan of facial hair, and since, like most husbands, I am, for all intents and purposes, her slave, permission will probably not be given.
July 21st, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Kevin, I’m going to throw this out there: What if you “forget your upper lip” for a couple weeks? Will she notice? Think of the good you could be doing.
July 21st, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Jonathan,
I married into an Italian family, so I’ll check with a few of the ladies and see if they’ll grow one for ya.
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Just a little shout out for the cause.
http://muckneybrewing.blogspot.com/2008/07/mustaches-for-ulcers-er-something.html
July 25th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
[...] Mustaches for Ulcers is making headway. It’s my dream to have a sponsor for all 8 of my ulcers by next week. Here’s what we’ve got so far. First, apparently there are other “legitimate” charities doing something similar with mustaches. Prostate cancer is arguably more of a threat than ulcers. But still. [...]
July 29th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
[...] true. Despite the ulcers I was able to make it to part of brewing last night. I have no doubt that I was still more help [...]